I am at the area of this study that I do not want to face. At all.
Who do we bless? Our Parents!!! I have a book on "my shelf" of books called "Toxic Parents"-Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. I have read bits and pieces. I am not ready to bless my parents. I am not saying I do not want to get there, God has me here doing this for many reasons and this is one of them. Uuuughhh, this is where I usually put some bricks up and call it a night. Bless my parents. Bless my parents.
Well, lets see, do I start with my biological parents, or just go with my adoptive parents.......or both? My nose is literally crinkled right now in disgust. Lord please forgive me, I .........I do not know where to begin. I have written my birth mother off. After meeting her, and her feeding me a whole lot of lies, I have no use for her. My birth father, we are good. I was five when I was adopted. I will admit right now, I am thankful I was adopted, due to the circumstances. When I was adopted by my Aunt and Uncle, i was told that my daddy would be referred to as "Uncle Jack". Kinda confusing for a five year old.
About four years ago I had a little chit chat with my parents and told them that I was an adult now, and that I wanted to have my daddy in my life as my "daddy", they said they understood. I saw my dad not long after this conversation. After 25 years, he was able to hear his little girl call him "daddy" again. Oh the joy in his eyes, the smile on his face, I will never forget. This was a blessing for him.
It is going to take me some time to come to terms with my parents. I pray, and I ask for your prayers, that I can forgive my birth mom....i am scared, i need to take a break.
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I found this and think it might help:
As parents, we are quick to teach our kids the virtues of the magic words -- to say please and thank you and pardon me. To say I'm sorry when we've hurt someone.
We sometimes forget to teach these magic words: I forgive you.
Children are naturals in the forgiveness game, because they don't hold grudges. Watch any group of 3 year olds at play, and you'll see kicks and pushes and toy-snatches and bonks on the head -- all forgiven and forgotten as quickly as they occur, and with minimal conversation. A 3 year old accepts whatever happens, responds as he thinks appropriate, and turns his attention to the next exciting thing.
As adults, we find it difficult to forgive people who have clearly wronged us. We come to believe that forgiveness is a sign of weakness, an invitation to let others take advantage of us. Forgiving does not mean that you invite people who hurt you to do it again. It means that you accept that they are who they are, and they are where they are, and you stop blaming yourself, and you stop wishing they will see the "error of their ways".
It means that you see begin to see the opportunities in your situation, instead of just the dilemmas. It means that you turn your face toward the future, stronger and more at peace.
Stand in front of the mirror, and forgive anyone you need to forgive out loud. Feel that tingling sensation? That's a hug from your soul.
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