Still Here......

Between work, girls, dinner, dishes, laundry, dogs, LOST, CSI, ER, remodeling house, putting in wood flooring, going to Lowe's four times a week, picking up dry cleaning, car pooling swim team, swim meets, birthday parties, school projects due, sinus infection, picture day, oh and DH, life just slips by. Oh, and on top of all of this, my parents will be here the 8th.

But I am still here, and I am proud to say that I am actively applying "The Blessing" toward my family. My Brittani and I are doing much better.

:)

Break Time

Life is going. Work is good. We have storms heading our way today. I love thunder storms. We hung our French doors and I have painted two coats of paint. Will put up boarder this weekend, well maybe this weekend. The girls have a meet Saturday. Life is so crammed full of "stuff" to do. I went to the Dr. yesterday. I have carpal tunnel (sp?), I have been short of breath, so I am on med for asthma. ASTHMA, I have never been diagnosed with that. And last but not least, "anxiety" it is funny how this word is used when we do not want to use the word "depression". So, I am on meds for "anxiety". I have gained 28 pounds in the last 8 months. It is not thyroid, and I do not eat icecream all day, I do not know what is going on. So, I am trying to get to the gym everyday now. Dagum if things don't just keep piling up in my daily life to do's. I miss my friends and family back home. I miss my sister. I miss my dh family. My dear friend is about to have her baby and I am here, 12 hrs away. My 12 yr old and I are butting heads. I am ready for fall, the yellow and red leaves. The cool breeze, walks with dh and dogs. The windows rolled down driving around the curved highways with tall pines. Life is going...anxiety or not :)

My brain is full

I do not have room to put one more thought into my head. It is overflowing with way too much information. I have been avoiding my blog because I am just plain tired. I started a new job, something that I have not done. I have worked in similar areas of this line of work, just not this. Numbers, numbers and more numbers. Balancing, reports, log summary's, calculations, seven hospital accounts, posting, billing, numbers, names, credits, debits, cost outliers, non covered, covered, inpatient, outpatient, numbers and more numbers.

Santos and I are up to our eyeballs with projects we are working on here at home. We are remodeling our down stairs. Pulled carpet, knocked down a wall, putting in French doors, laying hard wood in four rooms, painting, knocking down master bath wall for large shower. We have a forest that is our land behind our home, so we have been chain sawing trees, firewood for two winters and barely touched the area, cleaning, raking, chopping. It is beautiful. Tall pine trees everywhere. We just want to beable to enjoy it and eventually camp back there this fall. Need to put inground fencing to keep dogs on our land, so they are free to roam and enjoy the woods. We love doing this work. We love working together, side by side. Seeing the finished product. I have pictures, but he has the camera on a business trip right now.

The girls are doing GREAT!!! They are making all A's at school. Practicing 2 1/2 hrs everyday on swim team. They have two meets every month. So two weekends are gone each month to that. Brianna wanted us to take in a family who has lost everything from Katrina. We talked about it at dinner. I want to. Santos wants to, but is afraid to. Brittani is afraid to also. She asked "what would they do all day while we are not here, how long would they stay?" I am torn, I want to help, not just by sending money, but physically.

I have been avoiding my blog study. I am studying "The Blessing" and am at a part of this study, I am not ready for. Blessing my parents. I have been reading a book on dealing with the past experiences of childhood that may not have always been pretty. I am reading that I need to confront my parents about the hurt. YEAH RIGHT. Not me. I am not one for confrontation. So, screw it. I am just going to focus on blessing MY family right now. Oh, that feels good. It has been a heavy weight thinking of the past and figuring out how to deal with it. I will just keep ignoring it for now, and try to do and be the best I can be for my family one day at a time. I can go back to my study of "The Blessing" and apply what I learn to my immediate family. Part Two is --Five Steps To The Blessing. My prayer today is for all Katrina survivors...to find peace.

Katrina

My heart aches for all of the people who's lives have been destroyed. I wish I could blink and this all never happened. Last night as I drank my fresh glass of ice water, I pictured the people just sitting on the bridge literally dying of thirst. I went to get gas last night around 5:30 and it was packed, 4 cars in line per gas line. People filling up gas jugs. Went in Walmart and people were buying gas jugs to fill with gas. I am a little scared. I think of the future, and what it holds for us. But am I supposed to? I should not worry about tomorrow....right?