13 Years

Who do we bless? Our Spouse. We bless to build and restore relationships. If husband and wife become good at giving each other the blessing, then passing the blessing on to our children is that much easier.

When Santos I and were first married 13 years ago and differences arose between us, blessing him was definitely not my first thought. I tried other methods first such as arguing, ignoring, avoiding, debating, and of course the most popular silent treatment.

#1 Words - Yes, we have both used our share of "words". Not the good ones in most "bad" situations. We can use words like weapons to cripple or paralyze our partner, or we can use them to show acceptance (yes, we have a problem, lets work through this), unselfishness (yes, I was wrong), forgiveness (I am sorry, can we be friends again) and to say "I love you". This is not always easy, however; with prayer it is always possible.

#2 Touch - Hhmmmm. Well, no problems there. I used to. Like I have said before, I am not a "touchy, feely" person. As a lot of my close friends and family know, my marriage has not always been an easy road to travel. With a lot of prayer, my husband being baptized and my learning to be unselfish, I am the happiest I have ever been in my marriage. Oh, we still have our differences, but oh, that sweet, special touch, where he softly reaches out to touch my hand and says "lets not fight." We have a large recliner that seats two that we sit in together, always. I love it. As we are getting bigger in our years, we are sitting pretty close.

#3 Expressing High Value. My husband is good at expressing his high value of me. (again, it has taken some years to get here) I enjoy it when he says "house looks great honey", "mmmmm, something smells good, whatcha cooking", my favorite "are you losing weight?", another favorite "you are so good to us." I love putting notes in his suitcase when he travels, or when he has worked all day out in the yard, I make sure to tell him how nice it looks, great job.

#4 Picturing a Special Future. Santos has taken on several new accounts. The clients he is working with are not too happy with the company Santos works for due to the manager before him having these accounts did not take care of them properly. He has flown into a hornets nest. I ask him daily how he is doing. I express to him that he is one person, that he was given these accounts because management knew he had the gift and character traits that God can bless and use in his future. We have to stand beside our spouse and bless them with the positive attributes they have.

#5 An Active Commitment. This is only possible by obeying God, and prayer. There were a lot of times I wanted to throw the towel in. So, I decided to pray. I had to decide if I wanted my marriage to work. I had to believe that the part of our relationship that had been eaten away by pain, indifference, and selfishness could be restored. I committed to prayer daily for my husband, and for me.