I could not hide it this time. My husband could see. He asked over and over Saturday what was wrong, and over and over I said, "nothing, I'm fine". Finally, I caved. Tears flowing, I unfolded painful and uncomfortable truths of my childhood. I told him I just want to run away, away from you, from the girls and the past. He said to me, with love and sincerity, "you do what you need to do, but my gloves are on, and I am fighting for you."
After another hour of talking, I know what it is I have to do. I have to look at myself, the whole me and the many complex factors that have contributed to who I am today. I have to go through an unfolding process to uncover experiences from my past that have been brought to the surface and to the surface of those I love. This will allow present circumstances to be understood and dealt with in a different way. My husband said, "this is no longer your burden to carry, it is OUR burden.
I felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I could see him. It is hard to explain. I woke the next morning, and I WANTED to get up. I could SEE the dresser, the bed, our room, our house, our children. The fog is not there anymore. I can see. I can see. I love my husband more than the day we were married. He does not see me as I was afraid he would after all was told. He loves me and his gloves are on.
Dear God........thank you!
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7 comments:
GOD ANSWERED MY PRAYER!!!
I prayed for Him to be real to you... to hold you and let you know that you are loved. I begged him to BE THERE in a real and tangible way. He did. Through Santos. I LOVE SANTOS. Please tell him so for me.
Love you! (and I'm so proud of you I coulc cry!)
Thank you, Lord! Bobbie, I'm so glad you opened up to your husband. He sounds like a definite "keeper"! You hold on to him and you will both come through stronger, better and more lovable! Keep trusting the Lord to lead you along the path He is taking you and your hubby! :D
You have a wonderful husband--I can tell already. THat is a huge blessing from God. To give you a partner willing to keep his "gloves" on for you and fight for you. He loves you. And God loves you. And you have friends who love and support you.
I have a feeling we have much in common. More than you know. I look forward to visiting here again. Please stop by my blog anytime. God has brought me through more than I've ever written about, but will....one day.
God bless you!!
i heard a saying once that helped me and thought i would share it with you...
life is a journey, not a destination.
and it sounds as tho you're making some huge steps in your journey right now. and i'm so proud of you for being honest. i know it's so hard to be real. just know there are so many others out there that will be praying, cyring and shouting for joy, as you press forward.
tell satan and his little gremlins that you are going to win this battle and what a great testimony you are going to have.
i will definitely be back to visit soon.
blessings!
lisa
ps surfed in from vicki (windows to my soul).
and....you and your girls are soooo beautiful!
bobbi, God bless you for this, your honesty, and i'm so proud of your husband for stepping up to the plate. keep going.
Now that is a superhero stuff. You go! You pray! You fight! You win!
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