HHMMmmm

I always have a lot on my mind. I just am not too good at getting it out. I am at a happy place in my life. My family and I are doing so good. But are we? I mean, we do not go to church, I feel so guilty for this. We just have not found a church we really felt comfortable with. Or have we, and we are just to damn lazy to get up in the morning? I still am not used to living in TN. It is beautiful. And we have done a lot of remodeling in our home to make it feel more like our home. But still something is missing. Is it God? Is it no having our family's near us anymore? I feel so lost sometimes, but I try to suck it up for my DH sake. He has to do what is best for his career. And I need to support him. I need to have God back in my daily life. I need to get this fog lifted from around me.

I love my sister. She is to me, one of the most remarkable, talented, real, honest, loving & FUNNY person I know. I feel so, this is where I get a loss for words....ummm, I feel like I am nothing compared to her. I want to be like her. I want to know what my talent is, if any, I want to have great friendships like she has, I want to beable to communicate the way she can, I want to be as happy as she is. Is this wrong. We are not supposed to compare our lives to others. Right? I want to be in a bible study with other women studying Beth Moore. I miss what was right before me four years ago when we were at West Berry. It was all right there in front of me, and I just did not see it. You do not know what you have got until it is gone.

I need to get my priorities back in order. God first, family second and I forgot what is third. I ask that whoever reads this if there is anyone else besides my seester and the "old friend" of mine to please pray for me, that I do get my life in better order. That I stop being so lazy, and pick my Bible up instead of the remote.

p.s. "old friend" please do not leave a comment unless you can tell me who you are. You are freaking me out.